Only one thing stands between you and success. It isn’t experience or talent. According to John C. Maxwell, someone must learn how to communicate and connect with people in an effective manner if they want to succeed. Communication and connecting are therefore the crucial and critical competencies for everyone.

Communication refers to the willingness, ability and commitment to consistently communicate and dialogue, and tactfully with others, both verbally and in writing, in an open and honest manner in order to build commitment and drive both, organizational and personal performance. And connecting refers to the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases one’s influence with them.

Mastering the ability to communicate and connect with others at work it also contributes positively to the personal effectiveness and competence of leaders, managers and employees. Fact is, anyone can learn how to make every communication an opportunity for a powerful connection. Everything you do or not do is a potential communication action. As an individual you must be aware that even though you do not communicate nor do you communicate effectively, you still communicate a message, but in this case an unwanted one that negatively impacts your personal and professional image and reputation, and therefore also the trust in you as a person.

 

In this newsletter I will further elaborate on the five key connecting principles required to effectively communicate and connect with people and that increases one’s influence with them.

 

Connecting principle-1: Connecting Increases Your Influence in Every Situation:

People cannot succeed in life without communicating effectively. To be successful, one need to learn how to really communicate with others in an effective manner. Good communication and leadership are all about connecting. If one can connect with others at every level - one-on-one, in groups and with an audience - your relationships are stronger, your sense of community improves, your ability to create teamwork increases, your influence increases and your productivity skyrockets as well. The ability to communicate and connect effectively with others is a major determining factor in reaching one’s potential. To lead others, you must be able to communicate well, and connecting is key.

 

Connecting principle-2: Connecting Is All About Others:

When you are trying to connect with people, it’s not about you - it’s about them. If you want to connect with others, you have to get over yourself. You have to change the focus from inward to outward, off of yourself and on to others. You can connect with others if you’re willing to get off your own agenda, to think about others and try to understand who they are and what they want.

 

Connecting principle-3: Connecting Goes Beyond Words:

If you want to succeed in connecting with others, you need to be sure your communication goes beyond words by connecting on four levels: visually, intellectually, emotionally and verbally. Anytime you are in front of other people to communicate the visual impression you make will either help or hinder you. The first place to start when connecting visually is to increase the chances that people are paying attention to the right things and not being distracted. To effectively connect with people on an intellectual level, you must know two things: your subject and yourself. People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude. The exact words that you use are far less important than the energy, intensity and conviction with which you use them. Words are the currency of ideas and have the power to change the world. What we say and how we say things make quite an impact. Tone, inflection, timing, volume, pacing - everything you do with your voice communicates something and has the potential to help you connect to or disconnect from others when you speak.

 

Connecting principle-4: Connecting Always Requires Energy:

It doesn’t matter with whom or within what context you are trying to connect. It’s always the same: You need to bring energy to do it effectively.

And to make the most of connecting opportunities, you must channel that energy strategically.

Five proactive ways to use energy to connect are:

1. Connecting requires initiative: go first.

2. Connecting requires clarity: prepare.

3. Connecting requires patience: slow down.

4. Connecting requires selflessness: give. And

5. Connecting requires also stamina: recharge.

 

Connecting principle-5: Connecting Is More Skill Than Natural Talent:

If you want to have better relationships, or if you want to become a better leader, make connecting your goal. To do that, become a student of communication if you aren’t one already. Study effective and ineffective speakers, observing what works and what doesn’t. Give thought to what causes people to listen to others, and begin working on cultivating those characteristics. And wherever you go, watch how good connectors interact with people one-on-one, in a group or with an audience.

 

Source: ‘Everyone Communicates, Few Connect by J. Maxwell’, ‘Effective Leadership is all About Communicating Effectively: Connecting Leadership and Communication by

A. Luthra and R. Dahiya. ‘How to Communicate More Effectively by B. Tracy’.